Marriage? Not My Problem!
by Cheesecake579
Summary: [Platinum] Oh, what has Niou gotten himself into? First he talks about marriage, now he's wearing a frilly dress! What? Honeymoon?


Marriage? Not My Problem!

BD2000: Since a lot of people asked, here are a few stories of Yagyuu's life thing!

* * *

_Thump. Thump._

"Oi brat," Niou said. "Have you ever thought of marriage?"

Kirihara took a drink from his plastic blue hello kitty bottle (don't ask) and looked at Niou as if he was crazy, "Marriage? I'm like, thirteen, senpai."

Niou smirked. "Haven't you thought of who to marry in the future yet?"

Kirihara thought for a moment, then a light blushed appeared; the boy shook his head and cried, "No!"

The Trickster's smirk grew wider, "Ok, whatever you say, brat."

Marui popped out from behind Niou and pointed to his face, asking, "What about _you_, Niou, hmm?" He continued poking Niou on the cheek.

Niou looked annoyed and pushed the tensai's finger away, "I _don't_ like anyone in particular." He had a slight blush, but no one could see, unless you had amazing sight to see things microscopic without a microscope.

Marui and Kirihara shared evil grins, "It's Yagyuu isn't it?" Marui asked, popping a bubble.

"You're planning to _marry_ him?" Kirihara questioned, laughing. "You sound like a three year old!"

Niou frowned and left stomping off.

Yagyuu came by later, asking Marui, "I saw Niou-kun stomping off, muttering angrily to himself, is there something wrong?"

Marui and Kirihara looked at each other, they gave evil looks, and smirked, "He wanted to know what wedding favors he should get."

The gentleman scowled, "Wedding favors?" He asked.

Kirihara coughed to suppress his laughter. "Yes, wedding favors." He said as normally as he could.

"Who is he marrying?"

Marui's grin got bigger, "YOU." He said, pointing to Yagyuu.

Yagyuu pushed his glasses up, "Really?"

"Yup! You get to marry Niou!" Kirihara exclaimed as nicely as he could (which isn't working that well, hehe).

Yagyuu walked off, pretty happy.

"Hey," Marui started.

"What?"

"You're going to be the flower girl." Marui said, still grinning.

"…"

* * *

The following day, everyone in school was whispering the news. Niou was still somewhat confused about what was happing, why was everyone talking about him? Well, he knew he was handsome, but he didn't know what they were talking about when they were whispering about marriage. 

After school, at practice, people were still whispering. Marui and Kirihara were chilling out in the corner smirking an evil smirk; some say, the smirk can even beat NIOU himself!

Niou frowned and went up to the two. He crossed his arms and asked, "Alright, what did you do?"

Marui and Kirihara looked at each other. The demon of Rikkai looked at Niou innocently and asked, "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"

"Yes, what_ are_ you talking about?" Marui asked, just as innocent.

Yanagi came by and gave Niou a pat on the back, "Congrats Niou, see you on Sunday."

"…Ok…" Niou looked at the two, asking for an explanation.

Marui scowled, "The news got out fast, ne Akaya?"

Kirihara took a sip of his milk (yes, even Kirihara needs to grow) and said, "Yup."

Sanada came running, "What is this about marriage?" He demanded.

Niou raised a brow at the two. The two Rikkai regulars chuckled sheepishly. "We were just kidding, we didn't think Yagyuu would take it so far…"

Just then, Yagyuu came running by and said, "Niou-kun, I bought you a wedding… gown, well, actually, it's my mother's. I hope you don't mind wearing a dress for our wedding." Then he ran off before Niou could ask.

"…Wedding?" Niou asked. "Ok, what did you two do?"

Marui and Kirihara came up with a rather quick explanation and ran off before Niou could _kill_ them.

"See you on Sunday!" Marui shouted from across the courts. "I'll cheer you on from the background!!"

"YEAH! ME TOO!" Kirihara yelled.

* * *

That Sunday, Niou was pacing around his room. What should he do? He learned quickly that it wasn't a REAL wedding, but Yagyuu was so happy, he didn't want to say that it _wasn't_. 

Just then, Kirihara came running in and hiding behind Niou. "Hide me!!" He cried. The boy was in shorts.

Marui came running in soon afterwards, "Akaya! Just put on your dress!"

"I'm NOT flower girl!!!" Kirihara shouted.

"You so are!" Marui shouted back. He faced Niou then said, "Hey, Yagyuu said you don't have to wear a dress, just do whatever you want."

"Is this a REAL wedding?" Kirihara asked. "I wanted Niou-senpai to wear a dress…" He pouted.

"Well… if NIOU puts on his dress, YOU have to!" Marui exclaimed oh-so-happily.

Niou and Kirihara looked at each other. A series of screaming, shouting, and punching sounds were heard. A few moments later, they kicked Marui out wearing Niou's supposedly "wedding dress."

"I HATE YOU TWO!" Marui screamed.

"You're acting like a girl already!" Niou said, giving him a thumbs up.

"…."

"What?"

_Punch_.

The following scene is so horrible, even Kirihara ran away to not see it.

* * *

"..." Niou was silent. 

"..." Marui was silent. Marui attempted to punch Niou again, but he was stopped.

"...If you punch me I'm going to call up your fanboy and permanently stick you to that dress and tie you up to bed with him in a room."

Marui thought it was best to not say or do anything after that.

Just then as if someone called him, Jiroh sprang into the room. He almost fainted at the sight of Marui.

"OMIGOSH! MARUI-SANYOULOOKSOPRETTY!! CANIMARRYYOU?!"

Jiroh attempted to glomp him but Marui expected Niou to help protect him but then he realized that Niou was staring at them calmly waiting for something to happen.

"Niou! Help me!"

"...Something happened Marui?" Niou absentmindedly asked picking at his ear.

"Don't pretend that you don't see this guy trying to rape me! HELP!"

"MARUI-SANTHOSEFLOWERSBRINGOUTTHECOLOROFYOUREYES!"

"Since when did I have flowers on me?" and he happened to touch his hair.

"...Crap..."

Jiroh then pounced on him. "Marui-san...I LOVE YOU!" he squealed.

"HELP ME NIOU DAMMIT!"

"Oh. I think Renji is calling me...be back Marui! If Yagyuu, comes say that I went somewhere..." and he left.

"YOU SUCK! I HOPE YOU GET YOUR PONYTAIL CUT OFF, GET SHOT A THOUSAND TIMES, AND BURN IN HELL A HUNDRED TIMES OVER, AND HAVE MONKEYS EAT YOUR BRAINS!"

"...Marui...aren't you being a little violent?" Yukimura asked appearing out of nowhere.

Marui only gave him this, "TTTT"

Yukimura gently pried Jiroh off of Marui. "Is this what you needed?"

"...Thank you buchou..." Marui said crying tears of joy.

"..."

SCENECHANGESCENECHANGE

"Renji...why did you need me?"

"Oh, I just wanted to say that Sadaharu and I are filming the whole thing." Renji said. Niou could have sworn that Renji also muttered something like, "for blackmail."

Niou tried to smile. "Oh… that's nice." But we all know that Niou was secretly imagining him ruling the world. Oh wait, that's HIYOSHI'S job.

"So, we can put the best sound, best pictures, full in color, for FREE." Inui said from behind. "_IF_ you put on the dress."

"Oh, I can't. Marui's being raped by Jiroh because he "accidentally" put it on." Niou said calmly.

"Oh, don't worry. Yagyuu's mother has a lot of dresses." Yanagi said.

"…"

WEDDINGWEDDINGWEDDING (WOOT)

"Uh, why are we in ATOBE'S HOUSE?" Marui, who was sitting six people away from Jiroh, asked.

Yukimura smiled. "Because Atobe generously offered."

"Because of SANADA-SAN." Kirihara said, laughing.

Atobe coughed. Gakuto and Shishido snickered.

Yagyuu was standing at the "alter" waiting for the priest dude (yes, priest DUDE).

The doors opened, a familiar Rokkaku boy walked in, wearing his priest outfit.

"…Aren't you Rokkaku's Amane?" Inui asked.

"Yes."

"Why are you here?"

"Well, since I got a job, I wanted to get some money. I thought I was supposed to marry, but I guess I'm _doing_ the marrying. PTH."

Suddenly Bane ran in from out of nowhere and kicked him. "That's not funny, Davide!"

"…" Everyone was silent until Marui stood up (still in his "dress") and said, "Akaya, you're supposed to be flower girl, go to the back."

People laughed, I mean, it's not everyday that you hear KIRIHARA AKAYA as a flower girl! Kirihara was covering his face and blushing as he got up and walked away.

Niou came in, wearing some weird frilly white dress with extremely frilly gloves, oh, did we mention that the dress was frilly? Well, his hair was still tied the same way, but not they had white flowers on them. Niou was embarrassed to DEATH. He kept tripping because Yanagi told him that wearing high heels would make him look better, though Niou would say that it wasn't great if you were TRIPPING EVERY SECOND!

Kirihara was standing behind him throwing some flowers carelessly. His dress was just white to his knees. He was wearing socks that were below his knees and black shoes. You know what? Screw this; he looked like Alice from Alice in Wonderland, just to make it short.

"I so hate this…" Kirihara muttered.

Since no one wanted to be ring bearer (is there EVEN a ring?), they kicked Marui up. Now since Marui was wearing Niou's wedding dress from before, his dress was white and creamy with silk laces hanging from the sides and a silk ribbon on his hair. Some white flowers were on his head too. Yes, we know, his dress is better than Niou's, that's because this dress _used_ to be Niou's dress.

"I hate this even more." Marui said, tripping over his shoes. He scratched his head, "The flowers are so dang itchy!"

It took all of Jiroh's willpower (and some of the others, since they tied him to a chair) not to get up and jump Marui and rape the heck outta the poor Rikkai boy.

Niou yawned when Davide finished his long preachy preach. (Haha… not funny? Sorry.) In some parts of the speech, Bane kicked Davide for the horrible puns he made.

After the whole boring thing, everyone was looking forward to kiss the bride, but Niou had already fallen on the ground fast asleep.

"…So… who wants lunch?" Marui asked the crowd. Everyone started cheering. Oh, did we mention that the only reason they went to this lame wedding was because whoever stayed there gets to have a giant buffet. Why else do you think everyone was there?

Marui started to eat his lunch so quickly that everyone was somewhat disturbed.

"Marui, if you eat that fast, you'll ruin your dress." Yukimura said, pushing Marui's plate away from him. "Look at Akaya, he's eating so politely."

Kirihara was eating so politely, you can say it's NOT Kirihara. He was eating slowly.

"…Is that really Akaya?" Marui whispered to Yukimura.

Kirihara stared at his senpai and looked back at his food. "I don't like my food." He stated.

Marui sighed in relief. "I thought Akaya was going mad… good thing."

The Rikkai Ace glared at the tensai, who glared back in return.

"So… who's ready for the honeymoon?" Yagyuu asked.

"…"

"…Uh… isn't this food GREAT?" Marui asked, laughing nervously.

Nervous laughter. People started talking again.

Niou snoring his butt off during the whole thing while Yagyuu was trying to get Niou to sit up straight. "So, no honeymoon?" Yagyuu asked, somewhat depressed.

"…"

"I think my mom is calling me…" Kirihara said, running away… still in his flower girl dress.

"I gotta go…" Marui ran after, also in the dress.

"MARUI-KUNNNN!!! MARRY ME!! WE'LL HAVE SIX KIDS AND YOU'LL BE A GOOD MOMMY!!" Jiroh shouted, running after Marui. "WE CAN HAVE THREE HANDSOME BOYS AND THREE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!"

Yagyuu thought of something, "Oh, we should have twins."

"…"

"Uh, S-sadaharu, remember when we were little? Your aunt went to this wedding?" Yanagi said.

Inui pushed his glasses up. "Why yes! I r-remember! You were wearing a pink frilly dress with flowers in your hair and—" _SLAP!_

"You shouldn't remember things like that." Yanagi said.

Inui looked into the reflection of his spoon, Yanagi left a giant hand mark on his face… Oh, boo, woe is to Inui! "I won't say I still have the picture then…"

_SLAP!_

"How dare you keep that picture!" Yanagi said.

"I'm sorry?"

"How dare you question your apology!"

"…Renji, calm down." Genichirou said.

"How dare you make me calm down!"

"…"

"How dare you use your si—"

"WE GET IT, SHUT UP!" Hyoutei shouted.

"…I'll stay quiet now."

* * *

DB2000: Woot! Enjoy our story! I'm not sure if this would be a chapter story, maybe! If the reviewers want it! 


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